“Welcome to Night Vale”  twitter sentence meme

ask-meme-addicts:

• ❝ _{^{The average person is swallowed by eight spiders each year while sleeping.}} ❞
• ❝ _{^{Dance like the government is watching.}} ❞
• ❝ _{^{Good artists borrow. Great artists commit murder.}} ❞
• ❝ _{^{We hold these truths to be self evident, even though, historically and in practice, none of them have seemed to be.}} ❞
• ❝ _{^{Stars! They’re just like us… Fixed points of light against the void, arranged in contrived constellations of long-dead gods!}} ❞
• ❝ _{^{What’s the deal with airplane food? What’s the deal with human attachments in a mortal world? What’s the deal with those two things?}} ❞
• ❝ _{^{See? You never needed that wand or that cape. The power to feel unfocused shame and anxiety was within you this whole time.}} ❞
• ❝ _{^{On a long enough timeline, the unlikely event of an emergency is not only likely, but certain. The good news is that your timeline isn’t long.}} ❞
• ❝ _{^{Wanna feel old? Make comparative judgments based on how long you’ve been alive versus how long younger people have been alive. Wild.}} ❞
• ❝ _{^{You can tell me all your secrets. I mean, you absolutely shouldn’t. I’ll use them against you. But you technically can.}} ❞
• ❝ _{^{Every cloud has a silver, neurochemical lining.}} ❞
• ❝ _{^{Good night. Sleep tight. Don’t let the bed bugs bite. Don’t let the bed birds peck your eyes. Don’t let the bed worms get into your mouth.}} ❞
• ❝ _{^{Ask your doctor if the moon belongs to you.}} ❞
• ❝ _{^{Today’s forecast is sunny with a chance of the false vacuum of the universe collapsing, instantly destroying everything that is.}} ❞
• ❝ _{^{I’m sure everything will be fine. I’m sure of lots of things that are wrong. I’m highly fallible.}} ❞
• ❝ _{^{Who’s a good boy? How can we be certain? Is a ‘good boy’ measured in action or intent? You are subjectively a good boy! Oh yes you are!}} ❞
• ❝ _{^{Good pairings for this wine include pasta, stone fruits, conversation with someone you distrust, and a sudden loss of cabin pressure.}} ❞
• ❝ _{^{If you’re happy and you know it, then the chemtrails are finally working.}} ❞
• ❝ _{^{Not really killing time so much as euthanizing it.}} ❞
• ❝ _{^{Have fun tonight pretending to be something or somebody you aren’t. In fact, have fun doing this every night of the year.}} ❞
• ❝ _{^{Have you done your grocery shopping yet? Remember, it’ll be hard to find ingredients like ‘wet stones’ and ‘a quiet, shuddering man’ tomorrow.}} ❞