Out of Context D&D Quote Starters:

rpmemesupreme:

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• “EXCUSE YOU, I AM A HOT FAIRY.”
• “I’ll kick a tree’s ass.”
• “You should seduce the boat!”
• “I killed a man today. In space. On a dragon. With a shovel.”
• “Can I have flaming pistols?”
• “No, you may not make a human centipede out of your army of 50 children.”
• “Can I pay them money not to come near me?”
• “I’m pretty sure fish don’t accept money.”
• “I don’t know what we need to bleed on.”
• “Let’s bleed on everything, just to be safe.”
• “I’m going to go out on a limb and say we’re not going to solve this problem by bleeding on it.”
• “Your ass is not a weapon you are proficient with.”
• “That is the only dwarf ass I’m going to draw for you today.”
• “Oh shit, I forgot the princess.”
• “Did you just pull a gun out of your hair?”
• “Who just carries spiders around in their pockets?!”
• “He fought like he lived… Full of spears.”
• “Ok, so there’s a lot of teeth in this water.”
• “I’m not sure how to split a throne evenly. We all have a sitting schedule?”
• “How many noses are going into this chicken?”
• “We just turned a ritualistic orphan sacrifice chamber into a nightclub.”
• “You started a cult!?”
• “We need to give this guy a proper burial. After we loot his body. And take his teeth.”
• “Yeah, he’s a ghost now. But I can punch ghosts, so it’s fine.”
• “Have you ever seen a dragon choke on one hundred and thirty five orphans? Because you’re about to.”
• “I can be responsible for my own severed leg, thank you.”
• “Look, if I’m going to be a part of this Badger Cult, I expect career options!”
• “I can’t believe you just pre-battle blazed it.”
• “You lose the moral high ground after the second murder.”
•  “I am literally dying for your sins right now! Do not fuck this up for me!”
• “Summon the monkeys! They will be relevant!”
• “What happens if you die in Hell?” “Double Hell.”
• “Long term goal: we put your corpse on the airship.”
• “Does it still count as ‘evil’ if I feel really bad about it?”
• “Everyone is ambidextrous until proven otherwise.”
• “You blew up the sun!”
• “Hold my record player, I’m going in.”
• “I have never tried to stab you in a combat situation!”
• “Want to use my knife? It’s only been used for our own ritual blood-letting.”
• “I’m not sure we can even beat a log right now. We must negotiate with it.”