“I’m in cappuccino hell!”
“You’re an egg.”
“It looks like I don’t know how to do my makeup.”
“We’re gonna go to jail!”
“All hail the dead possum.”
“Does that count as sexual harrassment?”
“I got my boyfriend by sending him memes.”
“Go to the murder room.”
“It was her idea!”
“How old are you? I’m not allowed to sell you anything, but I can tell you about them.”
“A lady came in saying she hadn’t had an orgasm in two years. Three hours later she came back to give me cookies.”
“Do you want to trade off with the straight jacket?”
“Does my face look realistic?”
“Tell ______ to come get his/her blood.”
“Even the professionals jump.”
“How old are you? Lets go to a hooka lounge after this.”
“I’m not a drug dealer!”
“It’s hard because ______ has so many freaking freckles!”
“I usually use a popsicle.”
“My mom keeps telling me I’m gonna go to hell.”
“Meme it.”
“You wanna fucking go, ______?”
“Fight me, coconut boy!”
“The hole’s nice and smooth.”
“I was a good child.”
“What’s a shortstack? Like…a short stack of pancakes…?”
“______, shut up, I can’t hear ______!”
“No–you can’t cheat on an IQ test, stop it!”
“My IQ is not 1.39, that was a crumb!”
[text] 👉✊💦
Hot cocoa haven 