shit i’ve heard at work starters

fearframed:

most of these sound NSFW, but are actually completely innocent,
so if you can manage to make them SFW —– more power to you.

• ❛ My bad.  I thought it’d fit. ❜
• ❛ This is the hardest thing I’ve ever felt in my life. ❜
  
• ❛ Whoa!  Hey!  Put that thing away! ❜
  
• ❛ That could be one hell of a lethal weapon. ❜
  
• ❛ I mean, hey, if that’s your thing, that’s your thing… I won’t knock it.  But just know, it’s still really fucking weird. ❜
  
• ❛ What is this?  I didn’t expect it to be so… floppy. ❜
  
• ❛ You can’t honestly expect me to do that. ❜
  
• ❛ Really?  Well, someone lied to you. ❜
  
• ❛ Okay, so… it’s stuck. ❜
• ❛ Yeah, girl.  You ride that thing. ❜
  
• ❛ Oh… shit.  That’s thicker than I thought. ❜
  
• ❛ I’ve never been so sore in my entire life. ❜
• ❛ Can I take a break?  For just, like… five minutes? ❜
  
• ❛ There is sweat in places that I didn’t know could FORM sweat. ❜
• ❛ Oh god.  Why does it feel like that? ❜
  
• ❛ Is it okay if I put it in now? ❜
  
• ❛ Just take it out. ❜
  
• ❛ No, don’t take it out. ❜
  
• ❛ Just stick it in and leave it there. ❜
  
• ❛ My ass feels like it’s about to fall off. ❜
• ❛ Yeah, I think I could fit another one in there.  Maybe two. ❜
• ❛ Hang on.  Just a little longer… ❜
• ❛ SHIT!  Jesus fuck, that hurts! ❜