INFJ: 50/100 while physically frail and shrimpy, will use psychological warfare gleefully and liberally, then feel bad about it. Engage if necessary.
ENFJ: 60/100 Stronger than the INFJ, but not enough to win a fight on that alone. However, expert manipulator with an army of henchmen much more willing to tear you a new one. Engage if necessary.
INTJ: 20/100 All those hours hitting the books instead of hitting the gym have landed you a pair of very small noodle arms, you frickin nerd. Being smart won’t save you from a knuckle sandwich
ENTJ: 80/100 Average build, manipulative savant like the ENFJ, but these henchmen are unpaid college interns that have lost all faculties due to sleeplessness and caffeine, and will chew on your bones if promised a full-time position. Do not engage.
ISTP: 85/100 No henchmen, but you know ISTP lifts. ISTP is built like a brick house in a vintage tee. Goodbye, front teeth.
ESTP: 75/100 Fit, but lacks the impulse control and discipline to learn skilled fighting. Lands a few good punches, tires themselves out, looks hot with a bloody nose. However, an ESTP with a flamethrower: 50000000/100
INTP: 30/100 Knows all the moves, never practiced them. Flails for a while, gets bored, takes a nap, doesn’t remember what they were fighting about. You can engage, but why would you want to
ENTP: 90/100 Why such a high rating, you ask, for the sickly loudmouthed nerd ENTP? Unpredictable nature guarantees ENTP will grab whatever is nearest to them to wield in a fight. You ever been hit over the head with a desk lamp? Fuckin hurts bro
ISTJ: 75/100 or 25/100, no in between. Either ISTJ is a karate expert with superb discipline and practice, or the art they’ve chosen to invest their time and energy into was marching band, in which case, all you need is a good firm chokehold and a locker to shove them into.
ESTJ: 10/100 Beat their ass, but then get ready to dial things up to 666/100 when you get a call from daddy’s lawyer who peels the skin from your bones
ENFP: ??/100 With ENFP, it doesn’t matter. They’re gentle souls who will fight you and then invite you for piña coladas while you wonder why you were ever mad.
INFP: 1/100 Fight an INFP anytime. Just do it. Just do it. You will feel bad afterwards when they write a sad song about it, but remember: they probably deserved it.
ESFP: 70/100 All that time practicing high-kicks paid off. They will high-kick your face in and then drag you by the wig into the town square to get thoroughly picked clean.
ISFP: 55/100 Generally gentle and small, but insult their favorite indie band and they will piledrive you through a wall.
ESFJ: 95/100 Like the ENFJ, but their charm has made them basically a cult leader. Their followers, however, are like 100,000 1D stans on PCP fighting bareknuckled over a ziploc baggie of Zayn’s beard hair.
ISFJ: 100/100 They say the only things to fear are a sea in a storm, a night with no moon, and the anger of a gentle man. What they don’t say is that that quote was written about an ISFJ who is tired of cleaning up after everyone’s shit. Fight an ISFJ, wake up in hell where the devil will hand you a blanket and nod with wide eyes, “ISFJ, right? I guess sometimes enough is just enough.”
I know a couple INTPs who have done some serious damage when provoked too much…
Hot cocoa haven 